Meet Me On the Equinox
by Spanish Sunrise
Summary: Another story expressing the depth of Robert's love for Annie, vice versa. Their point of views, regrets, feelings, and emotions during Robert's last day on earth. Respetive Point of Views.


**Ugh, I hate it when a song or an idea gets stuck in my head and won't quit bothering me or go away until I write it down. **

**Talk about annoying.**

**This may be pretty dramatic, but come one, who doesn't love drama?**

**This is the story of Robert's last night on earth, and his death. It shows both his and Annie's point of view, respectively.**

**Review please.**

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Robert did not know why he volunteered, but he knew it was the right thing and his men deserved the honor. He was torn in half, by his brain and his heart. His mind was screaming at him, telling him he was a fool for even considering such a task, to die for honor, a romantic illusion. His instincts were ordering him not to go, that it was a death mission and no good will become of it. His heart on the other hand, though pained, was beckoning him to continue, to reject his self-preservation, and to lead the proud African regiment to battle the following morning. It encouraged him to lay his life down for freedom, as will his men. Robert prayed that they would not be a lost cause.

Robert exhaled deeply, his brown irises swept across his tent where Forbes slumped quietly in a chair, idly tracing the brim of his shot of whiskey. Robert did not want to die, he tried to blot out the frightening image of lying in his own blood, but the thoughts still managed to slip through. He looked like death itself, his eyes had sunken deep into their sockets, his face paler than the Boston snow, and his thick hair cascaded into his eyes, though young colonel hardly took notice.

He thought of Annie and he wished he had not married her. They were only married for a few short months, technically still newlyweds, and tomorrow he would run the risk of making her a young widow. He knew his death would destroy her, when he died, death would claim not only him but also her, if only figuratively. Robert knew she would cry, and he dreaded it, hating himself for it. If he was dead, he would not see her weep, which would make his parting easier, for he could not bear to see her weep.

He wished with all his might that he could see her again, if only but a glimpse of her stunning beauty, he would live on it for the rest of his young life, as short as will be. He had sent her a letter several weeks ago, and he cursed himself repeatedly for not telling her how much she really meant to him. He said he loved her in that poor, miserable letter, but he did not tell her how much. Yet it was impossible to describe something so large and unbreakable, like the bond that held them securely together. Robert wished on every burning star that he might tell her once more, hold her, kiss her, but that was impossible. It was not his destiny.

_Meet me on the Equinox  
_  
_Meet me half way_  
_  
When the sun is perched at it's highest peek_  
_  
In the middle of the day_

Annie squinted at her flower embroidery, trying to see her stitching in the dim glow of the firelight that spat it's passionate flames into the dim, rose-themed library of the Shaw Residence. The silver needle gleamed from the copper flickers of the bright element, mirroring it's light in a feeble reflection. Annie pricked her fingers several times before she finally allowed Susannah to order the gas lamps to be lit. It was hard for her to admit that she needed the extra light, for she was a stubborn girl that liked to do things on her own. She considered it a talent, and a hobby. Though on the outside, she was everything a well brought-up girl should be, but on the inside, she was trapped.

For the past several days, she had a strange, dark feeling of foreshadowing, and a twisting fear churning restlessly in the pit of her stomach. Her thoughts drifted back to several days before, when a letter from her Robert arrived in the mail. She tore the envelope open, eager to read and re-read every line of inspiring words that her beloved had to say. He started off semi-optimistic, as usual, telling her that the regiment was not accepted, but that in time he would reach their goals. He trailed in to tell her how he missed her, her favorite part, but then the content of the letter turned gloomier. Distant.

It broke her heart.

Annie knew Robert and she knew him well. She could read between the lines of his elegant script, sensing that something was wrong. His words seemed so far away, as if they were written long ago. Annie grew worried. Truth be told, she was always worrying about Robert, writing to him repeatedly that he should be more careful, that she was worried, and that she missed him. But after reading this letter, her heart started pounding, and she had fainting spells more often. Though Annie was a strong woman, every time she would hear many men died per battle. she felt sick. To her, every man she saw at that hospital was all Robert.

She wanted him back. No more nights staying up late, praying to God that Robert would come home alive. If he were to die, Annie did not know how she could go on. She spoke to Susannah about it, watching her wrinkle her forehead and frown, informing her that she had also received a letter from Cabot, explaining to her that he also sounded a bit strange.

Annie kissed the letter and placed it gently inside a box of love letters.

_Let me give my love to you  
_  
_Let me take your hand  
_  
_As we walk in the dimming light_  
_  
Oh darling understand_

Robert left Forbes alone in his tent, abandoning him to wallow in his grievous thoughts alone. He stood in the dark shadows of his tent, watching the members of A Company interact around a sparkling bonfire, spitting flames into the midnight air, dancing and reflecting in their eyes. He listened to their conversation, their testimonies, and their song.

"Oh my Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord." The strong voices of their African heritage echoed in the night, and Robert felt entranced.

It was beautiful and captivating, and the way they were so brave, and how they were willing to lay their lives on the line for freedom made Robert feel warm and encouraged. He stared at his men, his eyes washing over their smooth, brown faces, jumping from soldier to soldier, watching them with a child-like fascination. They gave him the answer; and Robert realized what he had to do.

_That everything, everything ends_  
_  
That everything, everything ends_

To My Dearest Annie,

Life is strange. I think this as I sit here alone, writing to you by the dim glow of the candlelight. I sense the irony of life, as I think of all the plans we made for the future. I remember betting on when the war would end, with Charlie and Forbes. I couldn't wait until it was through, so I could come back to you. I remember the names of all the children we were going to have. Today, I realize the bitter truth that this was not meant to be, that my life was not supposed to happen. Fate is not a cruel monster as it shows to be, it is only what it is, fate. Life's natural course. All my hopes and all my dreams are irrelevant. Yet somehow, it does not matter. I do not feel fear as I think about the assault on Fort Wagner tommorow, nor do I feel brave. I feel hopeful, that by the loss of our numbers we will speak volumes to both the North and South. Like the shot heard 'round the world. If you receive this letter, not immediately followed by another one, then I am no longer with you. Please understand that I know my men have fought bravely to the dreary end, and the our names and bodies will be forever lost through history, our words and actions will remain. In sense, we will live forever.

I miss you, Annie. I love you. My one regret about this deadly attack is that I will never see you again. I would die a thousand times tonight just to see your beautiful smile once more. Even just a glimpse. Please, I beg you, honor my one wish: do not weep. I cannot bear it when you weep, it is like the world is ending before my eyes. Instead, think proudly that your husband gave it his all on that battlefield, and that he loves you. It is true, that everthing but God ends, but not my love for you. Remember that Annie, though my life may end just as the world may end, my love for you never will. That is one thing fate cannot take away from us.

With my deepest love to my dearest wife.

Your husband,

Robert

_Meet me on your best behavior  
_  
_Meet me at your worst  
_  
_For there will be no stone unturned_  
_  
Or bubble left to burst_

Morning.

Robert shielded his eyes from the bright, blood-red glare of the rising sun, as it slowly snaked up to the sky, hovering just above the ocean. The horizon was bathed in a bright blanked of reddish-orange, and Robert could not help but think with a bitter smile that today was a good day to die. It was just like in the books he read, Shakespeare, Emerson, where the hero watches the sun rise just before he marches straight into the face of his doom.

The letter was tucked securely in the deepest pocket of his coat, ready to be given to the dispatcher, Edward L. Pearce. If Robert should survive this day, though chances were slim, he would immediately write Annie a letter telling her he was all right, not to weep and not to worry. His heart knew that his brain was only trying to comfort him, but it was not working.

It was only two hours later when Robert found himself on the beach along with his proud, African regiment, his best friend Forbes at his side. His eyes scanned the crowd of photographers and bystanders, desperately searching for Pearce. He was here, somewhere, Robert needed him to be. He needed that letter to be delivered.

He almost collapsed with relief when his blue eyes landed on him. Handling the reins of his horse, he rode to the man, pausing at his side."Pearce!" He called, immediately earning the man's full-out attention.

"Shaw." Was all he said to him, staring at him with a look pity and admiration.

Robert reached for the letter, producing the tan-colored envelope with the red wax seal, transferring it to Edward."I-I have some personal things, l-letters." His voice shook with his nerves, and his horse was feeling it as well.

Pearce looked at him for a long time, clutching the letters in one hand, the other clutching his camera."Of course." He replied softly, gently.

"Also." Robert called, searching for words."If I should fall, remember what you see here."

Pearce opened and closed his eyes slowly, watching Robert with a saddened, yet awed expression, his face and voice were both grim and dark. He swallowed hard, and managed a slow nod as he pledged his promise silently to Robert. Robert rocked back and forth slightly, nodding quickly, satisfied with Pearce's response as he rode forward to the beach, aiming for the front of the regiment.

_Let me lay beside you, Darling  
_  
_Let me be your man  
_  
_And let our bodies intertwine  
_  
_But always understand_

"Annie, are you alright?" Susannah asked, her tone concerned, squinting up from her rosy embroidery."You have been quiet all morning."

Annie gave her short, feeble nod; her head feeling severed from the rest of her body."Yes, quiet all right, thank you."

Susannah did not look convinced, but she dropped the subject.

Truth be told, Annie had been feeling dizzy and ligh-headed since she woke up at four in the morning. She just could not sleep. She felt like something was wrong, that something big was going to happen; she just didn't know what. She was quiet during breakfast, during her morning stroll with Susannah and her sister Ellen, and she was silent as the women began their embroidery. Susannah tried to make conversation, but grew discouraged with the disinterested nods that Annie responded with.

Annie had something bigger on her mind. She couldn't quiet put her finger on it. She told no one, but a sense of premonition was haunting her for hours now. It worried her because she felt like the world as ending, and she wasn't aware of how or why. She thought of herself as silly to entertaining such childish notions, but as the hours passed, it became too difficult to ignore.

_That everything, everything ends  
_  
_That everything, everything ends  
_  
_That everything, everything, everything ends_

Robert sits atop his proud, chocolate-brown steed, his sad blue eyes trained longingly at the ocean. The sun was beginning to set over the distant hills in the direction of the wild, wild west; a country Robert had always longed to explore as a child. There was so many things he wanted to do during his life, but never would.

Children.

California.

Meeting Lincoln.

Sometimes, Robert wanted to beat his fists against the sand and shout thatthiswasn't fair, that he was a young man and he wanted to live too. But life wasn't fair, and he knew that. Despite it all, Robert felt a warm glow of courage wrap around him and his men, he felt proud and strong. The blue-eyed child of fortune ripped his indigo gaze away from the last night of his life.

It was time.

_A window  
_  
_An opened tomb  
_  
_The sun crawls_  
_  
Across your bedroom_  
_  
A halo_  
_  
A waiting room_  
_  
Your last breaths_  
_  
Moving through you_

Robert was sprawled in a big ditch, sand was in his sleeves and boots, and his clothes were soaked with freezing, Atlantic seawater. It was dark, but he didn't have to squint to see around him, for the fire from exploding cannon balls were so bright. He took deep breaths, his eyes were set to the top of the fort. His hand snaked around his revolver, loading it quickly.

This was it. Glancing around at the men, shivering on the ground awaiting for his command,Robert took slow, deliberate steps as he slushed through the ankle deep mush. His heart was pounding, and it felt like the stars were burning for him. He cleared his thoughts of everything except his goal: to storm the fort.

His trudge broke into a rapid sprint as he rushed uphill."Onward! Fifty-fourth!" He surged forward, his men roaring behind him.

There was an explosion.

The world stopped spinning.

Robert almost didn't realize what it was. He felt the warm, sticky blood escaping from his torso, but he didn't stop. He heard Cabot's voice, screaming his name in panic and agony, louder than the very cannons."ROBERT!" Life was ending. Everything was ending as Robert's life was slowly poured out of him.

No. This could not be it. They haven't even reached the fort yet. They weren't inside. He could not die now. _Must_not. His men needed him. Forbes screamed his name again, this time Robert heard Thomas, and felt two new bullets pierce his body. His legs gave under him, and he collapsed to his knees. No, good God, please, no. His body shook as his last breath moved through him, and his last thought raced through his mind: Annie.

Pain.

Silence.

Darkness.

_Annie._

_As everything, everything ends  
_  
_As everything, everything ends_  
_  
As everything, everything, everything_  
_  
Everything, everything, everything ends_

Annie felt like something through her out of her chair. It was a dark, starry, night outside, and she and Susannah were sitting together in the library, reading romance novels by Jane Austen. A tea set with tiny cakes and sandwiches was set up in front of them, silently waiting to be useful. They didn't get the chance.

Annie knocked the tea set over, tumbling to the ground and startling her sister-in-law. Susannah shot up from her chair like it was hot, falling to her knees beside Annie, who was clutching her heart an moaning. "What happened?" Susannah demanded, her eyes desperately searching Annie's face for more signs of distress.

Annie refused to answer. She clutched her heart and moaned, she felt awful. What was this horrible feeling? It feltlik something ripped her heart out, that she was figuratively dieing. Why so suddenly? Could it be the premonition that was bothering her earlier had suddenly happened? Annie cried out, gasping for air.

It felt like the world was ending.

Like everything she held dear was coming to a quick, horrendous, end.

_Meet me on the Equinox  
_  
_Meet me half way_  
_  
When the sun is perched at it's highest peek_  
_  
In the middle of the day_

"A letter for you." Susannah murmured, two days later, handing her a wrinkled, weathered envelope.

Annie looked up from her cup of tea and smiled."Thank you, Susie."

She had dismissed her miserable ordeal that occurred a few days ago as nothing but dizziness. She wrote it off as going to town without her shawl, and the evening draft must have chilled her to such extremes that her fragile body had a fit. She shrugged and thought nothing of it, ignoring the hopeless emotions she felt along with it. Her dear friend Susannah still kept a weathered eye on her anyway.

When Susannah left, Annie had to restrain herself from jumping out of her chair and dancing around the room with joy. The letter was from Robert. It had his perfect, elegant penmanship, her name scrawled flawlessly, with love, on the envelope. Her heart beating loudly, Annie ripped it open, almost drooling with anticipation. She read it.

Then she screamed.

No! God, no! Not Robert, anyone but Robert. How could this have happened. How could people be so cruel? This was her premonition. This is why she felt so alone, so hopeless, that her life was ending. She hated war. It stole Robert. What would she do without him? Death. Death. Death. That was the only bearable option. But Robert would not want that.

"Wait." She said out loud to the ceiling, ignoring Susannah's desperate poundings on the door, demanding to know if she was alright.

Robert said that if a second letter arrived by the next day, he was alive.

_Let me give my love to you_  
_  
Let me take your hand_  
_  
As we walk in the dimming light_  
_  
Oh darling understand_

It never did.

The entire Shaw family stood outside their home for hours, waiting to attack the postal delivery man when he stopped by their home. He apologized, but told them he had no letter to give. They didn't believe it, especially Annie, demanding him to empty out his bag and see if he had lost it among the other envelopes.

There was none.

The next day, Harper's Weekly arrived in the mail, and Robert's father, Francis Shaw read it aloud to the grieving, anxious family. It was admirable news, but heart-wrenching as well. The great battle of Fort Wagner. The African troops fought very bravely but died very quickly, loosing over half of their numbers. They scanned the officer's casualty list. Cabot Forbes was among them.

Susannah screamed, collapsing and sobbing in tears.

Annie knew how she felt.

Annie found herself, unsupervised, on a small beach on the outskirts of Boston, staring out across the dimming, raging ocean, it's angry dark waves licking up the sand to her feet. She could not rip her brown-eyed gaze from it's beautiful nature. It comforted her to know that Robert once looked at the same ocean that she was now gazing at, mystified.

How dare the world go on as if no tragedy had occurred?

She drifted to the sand, rocking back and forth in effort to calm herself. It did not help. Once again, she was alone in the world, with no one to love her. She would never love anyone again, for Robert took all her love with him, and she had none to give. Silent tears blurred her vision. She understood now, that everything ends.

But not their love.

They were soul mates, and no war could change that.

"Robert." She choked out the sacred name in a pathetic little whimper."Robert."

Figuratively, she died that day.

Along with Robert.

_That everything, everything ends_

_

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**Song: 'Meet Me On the Equinox' by Death Cab for Cutie. New Moon soundtrack.**

**Review please, I'll love ya for it. Even if it's negative, lemme know.**


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